Topsy-turvy!

Things have gone kind of topsy-turvy in my life over the past couple of weeks. I feel like I am truly at a very pivotal point in my life. One of those sink or swim moments, you know? About a week back, I got some great news. After three years of waiting, SpeakOUT finally has its own website! Bookmark it! The site went live last week, but is now under construction. It should be up and running for real by no later than May 1st. The best part is that it didn’t cost me a dime. My good friend and supporter of SpeakOUT, Nick S., paid for the domain and is now my webmaster. He loves working on the site and I love him for loving it. :o)

In preparation of adding a page for organizations that support our group, I sent out a very generic email to our listserv asking for people to send in logos and so forth. Apparently this email led Stonewall to assume that we were bailing on them. Karla (the ED of Stonewall Columbus – SWC) went as far as to get miffed because I didn’t ask for her input on the site. Why would I? I’ve only been waiting 3 years for them to get off their asses and give me a lousy page on their site. Also, it didn’t cost them a penny, so what do they care? I guess it was just the “in” Karla was waiting for because within 48 hours of this email, I found myself in her office deciding how to best cut ties with SWC.

Now, I have to say that this was my plan all along. I wanted out. I needed out. But I wasn’t ready to do this right now. It was very overwhelming and a bit scary to be honest. Yet it was actually the best thing that could have ever happened. They wanted us gone and I wanted to be gone – and now we are. If you were to look at this as a divorce, I kicked SWC ass! I got everything…our money, the name, the logo, the computer, free booth space at Pride…everything. :o) Of course, Karla gave me the big we can still collaborate in the future line as I left…but it’ll be a cold day in hell before I approach them. If they want us – and they will – she can come to me. I’m looking forward to that day.

So here I am with this group! But which way do we go? That is the million dollar question that I’ve been pondering 24/7. I could create my own 501c3, which is a lot of work and red tape. Regardless, I will still need another group to be our fiscal agency, especially since SWC refused to extend that option to us. I have an appointment tomorrow with Lynne B., the ED of Equality Ohio. They are looking to add an Ally Coordinator to their group in 2008. They even have it in their budget. Of course, I want this position. Hell, I’ll go as far as to say I deserve it. So, I approached Lynne about a partnership between SpeakOUT and Equality Ohio. She is interested enough to meet with me…which is a good sign. Now what do I do?

I obviously don’t want to end right back up where we were with SWC. But I feel like SpeakOUT could become big now…so I am not ready to just hand it over either. Sadly, the bottom line is coming down to money. I’ve been running this group without pay for three years. For some of that time I was working, but I haven’t worked for over 2 years now and we can’t manage this much longer. My son’s diabetes is very expensive to maintain. So, I must find work by the fall. Once I do this, I can no longer be as dedicated to the group as I am now. I wish I could see the right path to take. Right now it is all a haze.

I’ve been spending most of the last week working on bringing us out from under SWC shadow. I’ve had to change our logo, contact the print media about our listings, change handouts and so forth. Everything with SWC info on it must be altered. It’s been rather crazy. Now I’m researching what I must do to copy right our name and logo. We also just did another marriage equality panel at a local law university in town too. When it rains it pours…luckily it is all good.

In the not so good category, we just had to pay $500 to fix our car. I had no choice. It is the only vehicle we have and we cannot afford to be without it. Our tax refund is slowly draining away. I am anxious about this. Summer is coming up and I need to be able to take the kids places and have some money to rely on. Luckily, I am now officially a contract worker! Equality Ohio is paying me to work with them on the Lobby Day project. I’m excited about that because every employee they have ever hired worked as a contract employee first. I feel like it is getting my foot in the door.

Today is Meg’s first day of softball practice. She is really excited about it. I think she will be good at it. We’ve been playing catch in the backyard with her new glove. I just hope she likes it after she is out there. I’m still trying to find something for Brandon to do. He wants to play golf and he also wants to try karate. His diabetes is all over the place these days. It makes me a nervous wreck. Why can’t they figure out how to fix this? It’s been months.

Well, I have tons to do. Especially laundry!! I better get going. Wish me luck…send me positive vibes. I’m getting ready to take a leap of faith!