You've gotta like a book with the word motherf%#$ in the title...

Having just finished the fourth (and final) book in the Twilight series, I decided to go with a little comedy...I think I read an excerpt from "Mother on Fire" (by Sandra Tsing Loh) in Redbook or something. Anyhow, 20 pages in and I'm not in love yet. There was this one section though that had me laughing out loud and I thought I'd share it with you dear reader. I think we ALL know someone like this...

"Bruce may think he is single, but he does have a tortured, passionate, unrequited, lifelong relationship with...the Republicans. Bruce is obsessed with their evil, tracking it tirelessly, 24/7. Bruce has been at it for decades. The man has one hundred hours of old Iran Contra hearings...on Beta!

Never mind that the Republican Party seems completely unaware of Bruce's very existence. I don't believe a day goes by when Dick Cheney thinks about Bruce at all. But the rest of us have Bruce on our minds continually. How could we not, given his relentless Unabomber-like mass e-mails raving how Bush stole ALL the elections...via the Electoral College...from Nader. ("Have you figured out how to unsubscribe?" "I can't - I try to hit Unsubscribe and then get RE-subscribed three more times!") Still Bruce's emails come, as though it is we who yearn for them, thinking - "What I find frustrating about my quality of life is a worrisome lack of rabid political punditry. Thank heavens I got another five e-mails today from BRUCE!"

Or alternatively, "Never mind all the experts - let's see what BRUCE has to say! Normally I'm not that interested in gerrymandering - except when my unemployed friend BRUCE, with absolutely no training in the law WHATSOEVER, e-mails me about it!"

LMAO! I know many "Bruce-like" individuals. God bless em!

So I'm going to try out this new routine: as soon as I get home from work, I'm going to beat my daughter to the computer and write in my blog. I figure this will keep me from making a beeline to my bed (which lurks temptingly just over my shoulder!). I've got to get OUT of this slump. I swear it is so bad that I've even been thinking about...exercising! Holy crap! THAT's a sure sign that I'm mentally unstable.

Work went smoother than usual today. I had a variety of different projects to work on, and that made the time go by faster. Plus my boss was gone most of the time I was there...a bonus! Another $30, hoo haw!

As I type this, Grandma is beginning her surgery. I know it is God's hands now. I'm hoping for the best. I just think it is so unfair that a woman her age has to go through this. More proof that life sucks.

Random realization: I used to be annoyed at all those drone-like zombies walking around the mall, or wherever, with their little ear buds connected to their MP3 player. What in the hell could be so fantastic that these people cannot stop listening to it when out in public? They don't hear/see/recognize your existence because they are so into their tunes. I just wanted to run up to them and yank out those stupid ear buds and tell them to pick up the damned pace!

But now that I have an MP3 player, I totally get it! I love having my favorite tunes at my finger tips. I love how I can listen to Weird Al's "EBay" song 10 times in a row if I want and no one will strangle me. I feel as if I am in my own little safe space - the rest of the world isn't allowed in. It's strangely peaceful to me. I still hate those ear buds (I bought regular headphones) - but now I'm glad I didn't go mental on some poor fellow music lover.

Rock on!

Last Song I Heard: Disturbia by Rhianna (on my MP3 player)

Last Thing That Made Me Happy: Hearing from my friend Jessie.

One Thing I'm Looking Forward To: New Scrubs episodes tonight! Lovin' me some Zach Braff!