A different path...

Hey everyone ~
Some of you will already know about the news I'm about to share, and to those who don't - I'm sorry I couldn't get the word to you before now. On Saturday, Sept. 9th Brandon was diagnosed with Juvenille Diabetes. It was a complete shock. He had been drinking more and wetting his bed all week long - basically acting out of character for him. Still I wasn't sure if it was stress from the move and start of school, or maybe a kidney infection. Nothing prepared me for what his doctor told me. I actually had to ask the man if he was joking with me. He wasn't...and then I just cried my eyes out. Indeed as of that moment, my life stepped off the path it had been on and started down a new one.

We spent the weekend at Children's Hospital trying to learn all we could about diabetes and how to care for Brandon. It was a lot in a very short amount of time. Brandon handled it all like a champ and only cried once the entire time. I can't believe how brave he is. I'm so proud of him.

Life thus far has been about counting carbs and watching the clock until the next sugar test or insulin shot. It has been a real test. Unfortunately my panic attacks (which had been MIA for over a year now) have returned. Basically I am a wreck, but trying not to act like it. I am back on my Xanax and I have an appointment to see my doctor this Monday. I wish and pray this would go away. I need to focus on Brandon now - not this crap!

Life is going crazy it seems. Along with this diagnosis, my father decided to go ahead and appeal the settlement for the divorce between him and my mom. She is a wreck too! She called me on Tuesday and just went crazy about it. She was crying and it was terrible. My grandmother was also in the hospital the same weekend as Brandon. She had chest pain and we were all worried about a heart attack. It is all happening at once and I just can't deal. I must focus on my son and block the rest out for now.

I'm trying to remain positive. So much worst things could have happened...there are worst diagnosis than diabetes. Yes it is a life altering disease, but it is manageable. He will never "out grow" it, and it will never turn into Type 2 (which you can take pills for) - but he can live a relatively normal life with it. He can even still have sugar treats - just in moderation and at certain times of the day. For all these things I am grateful.

Keep us in your prayers and thoughts. I'll write more when I can.