The saga continues

By the time that I met (and subsequently fell in love with) Brian, all those carefully contained compartments of my life seemed determined to morph into one big messy space. I was burning my candle at both ends and it was finally getting to a breaking point. My first major decision was to take yet another break from school. I quit working two part-time jobs and got a full-time one at the bank where I met Brian.

Even though I still loved the game of hockey, I was quickly getting burned out by the “social aspects” of it. I decided not to renew my season tickets. My friend Laurie once commented; “The guys (players) seem younger and younger every season.” Actually, it was us that were getting older and so I decided it was time for me to grow up as well. (Besides, there is nothing more tragic than becoming an old hockey ho!) It was very clear after the whole Derek from Dayton debacle that the time had arrived for me to stop hanging out in bars and chasing after guys who had no intention of sticking around. Instead, I decided to focus on relationships that might actually lead to something.

During all of this, I was still gaming but the dynamics had begun to change in that area too. Our GM quit his job at the gaming store where we always hung out and played at, and we moved into the basement of one of our player’s home. We added a new person to the group and that changed the “feel” of our pack in unexpected ways. We continued to play but it seemed to lack the spark it once held. It didn’t help that our GM (Steve) had developed an insane crush on Barb. She just never liked him in that way, however, and that left things a bit strained in our group sometimes. He later came out to us as being gay…which is funny because he was not the first guy to come out of the closet after Barb had rejected them! Yep, Barb “turned” them gay and my exes either joined the Marines or ended up on daytime talk shows. Nice, huh?

Barb and I were still fierce friends and spent much of our time together. Here’s a funny story…I actually tried to play match maker between Brian and Barb. As I mentioned before, I liked Brian but only as a friend and since I never figured that I would be interested in dating him, I thought maybe the two of them might hit it off. He brought his friend (also named Brian) along to Mecca (the hot dance club at the time) and I brought along Barb. They were closer in age and seemed to have similar interest in certain things, but it was obvious once we got to the bar that it wasn’t going to happen. It also became obvious that I was Brian’s object of affection. Man…just think how different my life would be right now had they found each other even a little bit interesting that night! LOL

As our relationship turned from friendship to dating between Brian and I, Barb began to find romance herself. Unfortunately for her, none of them tended to stick. She dated one guy from our gaming circle very briefly and then another gamer who lived out of town. I have to admit, it was really weird to see her with someone. I was so used to it being me and my guy dramas and her – just her. I guess I had gotten used to that and in some ways I admit that I preferred it. I know how that sounds, but Barb was the one constant in my crazy life. Just as Scully said of Mulder, she was my North Star. I could always count on her to help me find my way home. What would I do if that changed?

As it turns out, I didn’t need to worry about change coming from her end (at least not then). Things between Brian and I progressed very quickly. I never thought I would find a guy who wanted the same things I did right off the bat. Who knows why some people click and others don’t, but I believed that Brian and I were meant to find each other when we did. We were both ready and fate brought us into each other’s lives.

Fate – yeah, I’m one of those weird chicks who believe in such things. I wasn’t even supposed to be assigned to the Grove City branch, but at the last minute Key Bank decided to place me there. Had that not happened, I would have never met Brian. It turns out that Brian had only started working there a month earlier actually. He was supposed to move to Louisiana with his friend, but at the last minute it fell through so he got a job with the bank instead. It also turns out that he frequented the bar where I once worked part-time as a hostess. I never noticed him, but Brian told me that he used to go there just to see me. He never had the courage to ask me out and then one day I was gone. Isn’t that freaky?! You can call it coincidence, but in my book that is fate!

From the beginning, Brian showed me that he would do whatever it took to be with me. The poor guy endured sitting through many hockey games and even tried his hand at role playing with my pack just so he could spend time with me. He willingly sat in the back seat so Barb and I could gossip in the front together. He really was a fool in love. :o) Looking back on those first months, Brian must have been out of his mind to stick with me. I was very self-centered at times. It had taken me a long time to ‘find myself’ after my divorce and I was determined not to repeat the same mistake in this new relationship. I’m very lucky that he loved me despite this.

On a magical night atop Mt. Washington overlooking Pittsburgh, Brian asked me to marry him just months into our relationship -- I said yes! Even though everyone felt it was too fast, I went with my gut and jumped into my new future with Brian. I had learned the hard way that time didn’t guarantee a damned thing. I had wasted years with my ex-husband and that had produced nothing but heartache and misery. I decided to listen to my heart. We planned on waiting about a year before we would actually marry, but fate had something else in mind for us – a baby! Within a month or so of announcing our engagement we found out that we were expecting. (That’s right all you skeptical people out there – you know who you are - Brian and I were engaged before we conceived!) Overnight my life basically changed and all my safe little compartments just imploded entirely. It was time to start building a new life…literally & figuratively.