The not so sad passing of 2007...

So here it is – New Year’s Eve (NYE) 2007. In my younger days, I would have been out on the town this evening - forking over way too much money for the privilege of swigging cheap champagne with a bunch of strangers at some bar. A few years back, however, the hubby and I relented to the reality that we are parents now and therefore started celebrating NYE as a family…which means overly tired kids and Dick Clark on the tube. Woo hoo! What used to be a fun night has turned into just another night in…yawn. Honestly, I don’t even think I’ll probably stay up this year.

What NYE means to me now is a time of reflection on the year which is passing. It also brings with it about a week’s worth of nesting; Purge! Organize! Clean! It’s sort of like the second trimester of pregnancy without the stretch marks. :o) I’ve definitely been struck by the nesting bug this year. We are knee deep in several projects – including changing the kid’s rooms around. It’s been a very productive time around the house – Brian’s actually tackled the “Honey Do” list, and we are finding many “lost” items. We’ve already made about 3 trips to the recycling center, and I am certain there will be at least 3 more before we are done. Nothing is safe – closets, under the bed, under the sink!

The bad thing about this “nesting” phase is that it leaves me with a huge wish list. New rugs for the kitchen, clothes to replace those we outgrew over the year, and so forth. This long list will remain untouched for at least the next month or so…as we are dirt poor. No, that’s not a figure of speech…we really are very poor. I try not to let that and the many unpaid bills freak me out on a daily basis – but there is no getting around it. Reality sucks!

So that brings me to the first part about NYE – the reflection…2007 was not a banner year for our family. In fact, it pretty much sucked. We are just as poor this year as we were this time last year – actually, we are worst off than last year. We never got that new car and I never got that new job as a result. My depression is worst now than then too. My relationship with my father has gone from poor to basically non-existent. My family seems to be stuck in a very bad rut…running the same track over and over.

In 2007, I lost more friends than I gained. Gone: Steve C. (and my game), Thad & Julia (and with them sweet little Ari) and Jessie. Steve chose to end things with me after a bad gaming session – that was upsetting but not earth shattering. We just didn’t click I guess. Thad & Julia are technically not “gone” just MIA. I write them and they don’t reply – but every now and then I get an email to game. So I guess I’m moving them into the acquaintance category. Jessie was a surprise…I really thought she and I were on the fast track to BFF land! I ended this friendship (very recently) though because she had a built a history of flaking out on me and hurting my feelings in the process. I don’t think we had a healthy relationship and for that reason I decided for my own mental health that I needed to walk away. She is the truly the one person I will miss. She moved away to a new state anyhow, so it was probably only a matter of time before she left my life anyway.

On the upside, in the year 2007 I created my MySpace page – which I enjoy playing with. Through MySpace, I’ve met a couple of nice people with whom I write fairly often. It makes life a bit less lonely. An old friend, Regina, came back into my life with the wonderful addition of sweet Xander. It is nice to talk with Regina again – now that she is married and a mom, maybe we will have more in common than just our past. Brian and I got to see two plays this year – Wicked & Spamalot. I rediscovered my love for Weird Al music when I went to see him in concert at the Ohio State Fair with Jessie. I also discovered how much I love the show, House and its leading man Hugh Laurie.

I’m sure there is more to be happy about but I honestly cannot think of any at this time. I’ll be happy to say good-bye to 2007. I hope it gets kicked in the ass by the door on its way out! I’m cautious about thinking of 2008. I hope it marks a change in our lives – I hope that it is a good thing for once. We wanted to move to Oregon this summer but I doubt that is realistic. I can only be sure of one thing – I must create a better life for myself. No one should be this unhappy for this long.

Here’s to 2008…let the sunshine in!