Even MORE Saga!

I was reading over what I have written thus far in my saga and I fear I may be wandering too far off my point. This is not to be a tell-all about my whole life, but instead it is about a specific journey in my life. With that in mind, I hope I will not disappoint you, my dear reader, by not spending the next few entries discussing my wedding and birth of my first child. Those are important events in themselves, but they are not entirely relevant to my tale. What I will say about those blessed moments in my life is this:

Due to the unexpected addition to our relationship, Brian and I married much earlier than planned. I have to say it wasn’t entirely our choice (my parents were very insistent) and I wish sometimes that we had stood firm to wait regardless. Nevertheless, we were married in July. It wasn’t as an extravagant ceremony as my first wedding, but it was nice. Brian’s first marriage had taken place in a court house, so I was determined to give him a real wedding. It took most of our savings, but we managed to pull it off. My friend Beckie was my maid of honor and Barb was my bridesmaid. In hindsight, I wish I had reversed that order. Funny tale – remember that friend Brian brought to Mecca the night I tried to hook him and Barb up? Well his friend (Brian) ended up smitten not by me, nor Barb, but my other friend Beckie! The night of our dual bachelor/bachelorette parties, the two of them became infatuated with one another and disappeared into the night! Fate sure is a tricky beast. As far as I know, they still see each other off and on to this day.

Meaghan was born in December of 1996. Since Brian was working almost an hour away at that time, we had asked Barb to be our emergency substitute in the delivery room. What a sight it must have been for all those snooty Dublin/Upper Arlington mothers-to-be to see the three of us working together in Lamaze class. I think they thought Barb and I were lovers and Brian was the “donor.” LMAO I have to admit I really enjoyed our Lamaze classes…two people rubbing my back and catering to me! What a life! LOL

It turned out that I didn’t really need an emergency backup since Meaghan was induced. Still, Barb was there to witness the miracle of life. (Side note to anyone out there thinking about inviting your friends/family to watch you give birth – they will end up seeing every last detail of your nether regions! Think long and hard about this, ladies.) Naturally we asked her to be our daughter’s Godmother.

And so time went on as it does…Brian and I were the typical first time parents. We thought foolishly that a child did not necessarily mean that we needed to change our life. The baby would just join ours! (Ah…ignorance!) We took her to nice restaurants and to the Gallery Hop. Life, though rather poor, was good.

My gaming group went through a transition at this time as well. Steve, our original GM, moved to the Northwest coast for a job and several other members dropped away. Barb once again proved fruitful in finding us a new group to play with. The three R’s joined my life: Rod, Roger & Russ. We gamed mainly at our new apartment and that important piece of my life remained intact. It would never be the same as my first pack, but I grew to appreciate the new people in our life just the same. They in turn seemed determined to appreciate at least one member of our group in particular – Barb!

Roger and Rod both developed a mad crush on her. It was rather entertaining to watch them fluttering about her. Poor Barb…she did not know what to do with all the attention at times. In the end, Roger gamely bowed out and allowed Rod his chance with her. Knowing how much Barb meant to Roger, I remember thinking how special of a person he really was to do that. As for Rod, he seemed eager for the challenge and I make it no secret that Brian and I were cheering him on. It was always my hope that they would become a couple and even perhaps marry. Rod was just a great guy. He was smart, funny, independent (a.k.a. held a real job and had his own place), warm and caring – and he was a gamer, which of course was critical. He encouraged Barb in ways other guys hadn’t and somehow I just knew he would never take her for granted if given the chance to be with her. I guess you can tell by my use of past tense that it never happened for them. They did date but it never blossomed in the way I hoped it would. She never did tell me why they didn’t make a go of it, but I’m going on the record by saying that it was one of the biggest mistakes Barb has made in her life.

It turns out that she fell for a rat of a guy who lived in Michigan instead. When she met Damien (yes that is his real name) I honestly gave him little thought. I figured it was a passing fancy…a rebound guy. So you can imagine my shock and dismay when she announced that she was going to move to Michigan with him! Who was this person? The Barb I knew did not do things like this – just up and move to a new state with a guy she barely knew. I tried to talk her out of it…maybe that makes me a bad friend, but I knew in my gut that it would be a train wreck in the end. It was…he turned out to be a real jerk that used her and stole her money. After a nightmare trip to Mexico, she dumped him. When she returned to Columbus I assumed it was for good but it turned out to be only a pit stop. It was just the beginning of a journey for her which would take her to Utah and ultimately to Texas as she moved with her sister and her family.

In October of 1997, we gathered at Rod’s place to say good-bye to her. Although I had Brian and Meaghan, somehow I still felt like I huge piece of my life, my heart, was being ripped away from me. It was terrible. I was losing my soul sister and I knew then what I know still today – that I would never find someone else to fill that spot in my life.

She wrote me a letter after arriving in Utah…here is what she said to me:

“I wish my last hours with you were more in high spirits. My heart broke that day. For the first time, I felt it ripping and was helpless. I have never felt such pain. I wanted so much to hug you and plan for future days, but I could not. I wanted to look you in the eye and say, instead of write, that you are my family and best friend and that…I love you. I am sorry I was not strong enough. I may be hundreds of miles away, but you are still my family, my sister. All the miles in the world will not change that. I will always be here for you. That is what family is for. I am, and always will be, your friend.”

I trusted those words because I felt them too. I trusted her because I loved her in the same way. And so I began our long distance friendship never knowing that my life would never be the same as it was that long autumn day in 1997.