Life - or something like it...

I have spent the last 24 hours basically playing catch up online. My computer hasn't been very useful of late...every time I manage to get online, it runs so slowly that I literally sit here and wait for 15 minutes just to open an email. Something that should take me a few moments turns into 30 minutes of frustration! I wish I could afford my own ISP, but for now I am stuck with "free" WiFi and plain luck...which as you know, in my case is usually the bad kind.

For some unknown reason, however, late yesterday afternoon I was able to log on and STAY on! The speed is also reasonable. Maybe it was my semi-serious threats to throw my computer out the window...or maybe it was just my turn to get a lucky break; whatever the reason, I've been online as much as possible since. I had to get my work for SpeakOUT finished before I could even think about blogging, updating my MySpace page or even checking my other email accounts. Getting caught up on my SpeakOUT work took me hours! I had so much to do to prepare for the first meeting of the year. My hard work paid off though because I'm happy to say that I am 100% ready for Saturday's meeting. I put a lot of effort into the planning of this meeting and I hope everyone notices (and appreciates it).

The truth is that I need to start looking at my time working on SpeakOUT more positively - or this will be the last year that I run it. I just feel so negative about my group lately that it is likely one cause of my depression. It isn't the people, it's the politics. I find myself with this feeling of dragging around a heavy cross upon my shoulders when I think about my advocacy work. It used to be a source of pride and happiness...but that seems like a long time ago looking at it now. The people I must work with to make it all happen have basically sucked that enthusiasm out of me. I feel very bitter and negative. That can't be a good thing. So in 2008 it is sink or swim time for me. Time will tell...

I've actually made quite a dent in my nesting/organizing list! I'm proud to say that I am making good progress. I've tackled several items I was dreading, and I've been able to purge quite a bit of crap out of the dark corners of my life/space. I can see a dramatic improvement in our closet already - but I still have a way to go in there. I have so many things...articles, kid's art work, magazines, knick-knacks - it is hard to find a place for them. Taming our paper dragon has been a serious issue. At one point I had about 20 mini-piles on our bedroom floor and bed! I just stood there and nearly burst into tears. I was paralyzed! I didn't know what to do with them. The sad part was that I had a box bursting at the seems of stuff I had decided to toss in addition to the 20 piles! A lot of it is SpeakOUT stuff...it is taking over my life!

Brandon has been selected to be a "model" for the Promise Ball catalog. The Promise Ball is basically a major fundraiser for diabetes. He was excited to be chosen and now he runs around the house practising his poses. Last night he ran into the living room and did the "Superstar" pose made famous on Saturday Night Live. It was freaking hilarious! I swear that boy is just plain crazy sometimes. LOL In addition to having his photo in the magazine, he will get interviewed as well. This all happens on 1/26.

Meaghan is also getting some "super star" treatment. Her uncle and cousin are involved in filming a promotional video for their church. They asked Meaghan to star in it! I thought she would be very excited, but I think she is too nervous to be excited. She's mad that she has to wear a dress. LOL If she is really going to be an actress, she better get used to it. That happens this Friday evening. What a life!

Not much is happening on the money issues I mentioned before. I made $20 in babysitting this week, and tonight I'll earn another $25 for doing a taste test at Wendy's International. $45 isn't much, but it will buy gas.

Well, I need to get to those piles on my floor. I'm happy to report there are only about 4 left. :o)

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