Seeking Clarity...

The title to this photo was labeled "confusion." That pretty much sums up what is going on inside my head these days. Maybe it is just stress but I cannot seem to make a decision - about anything. Considering that my entire family counts on me to make all the decisions...well, you can see my problem.

Brandon's birthday is the 24th of this month and I don't know what to do about it. It is the day after Easter this year and during spring break at school - which means his friends may be out of town! I can't seem to organize my thoughts enough to even pick a day to have his party, let alone the theme or the location. Hell, I'm even having a hard time just deciding on his present this year. Unlike his sister, Brandon isn't the type to really ask for much. He just shrugs his shoulders. The bad part is that my mother will soon want to know what to buy him too - and how am I supposed to tell her when I don't even know? Don't even get me started about Easter.

I'm also drawing a big fat blank regarding what topic I should address at this month's SpeakOUT meeting as well. I've been working extra hard on making the meetings more focused and interesting - but this month it is like I hit a brick wall. I feel like a sail boat out on the sea without a breeze to help propel me in the right direction. Just lost...

I don't really have any news to share with regard to Brian's job search. We are waiting to see how his interview goes on Monday to make any real decisions. I've been feeling down the last couple of days - but for no specific reason. I guess it is just my time to be in a funk. This horrible weather doesn't help either. I just want to sleep all day; buried under my piles of blankets.

One good thing about this weather is that it canceled the Transgender symposium that I was supposed to attend tomorrow morning and volunteer at. It's not that I don't want to go, or that I was not interested in helping, but with my current state of mind I was just not up to networking and being perky. I shouldn't even write that - the people over at TransOhio worked really hard to put this together and I'm sure they are crushed to have their first big event canceled. They will reschedule though and I'll volunteer again.

I wonder if we will have yoga this Sunday? I'm so amazed how much I enjoy this class. We are starting to do standing poses - which are admittedly harder than the few other poses we've done already - but I'm doing pretty well so far. What strikes me after the class is how calm I am, and how happier I seem for the rest of the day. I wish the class was more than once a week. I never thought I'd like yoga...so I'm glad I took a chance.

I'm surprised I'm even able to be online in this snow. I've taken advantage of it though - I finally changed and updated my MySpace page. I hate keeping it the same for too long. I put up a bunch of new videos (including a funny one of Hugh Laurie on The Actors Studio)- so check it out.

Did you hear that Weird Al is coming to Columbus again? Yep, he's going to be at the LC on July 20th (which happens to be my 12th wedding anniversary). I cannot wait to take Brian to see Al. I can't stress how much Al rocks live in concert. Even if you are just a casual fan, I urge you to check out his show. You'll have a blast!

Well, it's late and I am babbling...good-night all!

FYI: The Sci-Fi channel is showing NBC's Chuck on Friday nights at 8PM. I just thought I'd pass this along in case you wanted to check out what I think is one of the better shows from this past season.