Trent Reznor Rocked My World!

Holy crap people...Trent Reznor is a fucking Rock God! I am fresh from the Nine Inch Nails concert and what can I say other than it was fucking awesome! Woo hoo!!

Sorry to be using the 'F-word' so much, but after spending a couple of hours at a NIN concert, it seems only natural to me. LOL I don't think I've ever noticed just how often it is used in his lyrics. At any rate, who knew Trent Reznor was a hottie either? Just look at him - the boy's been hitting the gym! He is just amazingly talented too.

I was very excited that he played "Head Like A Hole" as his closing number. It was the moment I had waited for all night. I must admit - I rocked out: it was fist pumping, devil sign in the air, head banging, slam dancing madness! It was so much fun - plus I thought I looked damned cute in my black Vampire t-shirt & low pony tails. :o)

Despite having to put up with some initial crummy weather (hard rain & scary lightening) in our lawn "seats", it was totally worth it. The lightening got really bad for a bit, so the kind folks at the ampitheatre let us cold and wet fans into the untaken seats down in the covered pavillion area. It was much nicer down there...plus the sound seemed better too. Then during the second opening act, Trent actually popped up in the crowd for a song or two! That was unexpectedly cool and he even signed some autographs for a few people.

If you like NIN even a little, you should go see Trent live. His stage show is a feast for the eyes! There were so many electrical images and lights that I felt like I was in a video. Sweet! Plus he sounds almost exactly the same live as on his cds. He and his touring band had a ton of energy. At some point I felt like I was at a speed metal rock show...but then he'd tone it back down and focus more on the techno/industrial vibe that I prefer. NIN is definitely the hardest rock show I've ever been too - one of the gutiar players even smashed his gutiar at the end of the concert. Who could ask for more? :o)

Off to bed with me...my ears are still ringing but my eyelids are droopy.

Dark days...

Often following a huge emotional and physical event in my life (like Pride), I often find myself crashing down to earth afterward. I wonder if this is normal for those who are diagnosed with depression or if it is just something unique with me as a person. I ride on this fake high for days and then sputter out of gas.

The past several days have been what I consider "bad days" for me. On these types of days, I basically feel overly tired or under-stimulated. I usually feel achy and get migraine-like symptoms. I just want to hide in my bed and be anti-social. In fact, I find that it would be best for those in my life to just forget I exist on days such as these. I'm grouchy and generally just no fun to be near. I also seem to dwell on the negative. I wish I knew why I get like this. The best medicine seems to nap as much as possible and then force myself to be social when it is the very last thing I want to do.

So, I'm writing in my blog and I'm also going to a concert tonight. I think it is very fitting that the band I am seeing is Nine Inch Nails! There will be plenty to be gloomy about there. :o) Actually, I am looking forward to seeing NIN live - I hear Trent puts on a good show. His new album is pretty good too. (Check it out: http://www.nin.com/)

While at Pride this year, I made some time to wander the many tents and ended up picking up some cool swag. One item I received was the new Dixie Chicks single, 'Not Ready to Make Nice.'

(Watch the video - I love the part when Natalie Maines smears everything in black paint with her hands: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwc5YSAc-7g)

I'm one of those annoying people who can listen to a song over and over for hours without even noticing that others may be ready to kill me...and I find myself drawn to this tune. Maybe I should blame my "bad day" attitude for this, but essentially I feel like this song really touches something inside me. I know that the song is actually about the negative reaction the Chicks received after coming out against the war in Iraq and President Bush...but the opening verse seems to give a voice to a hurt that I hold deep inside:

"Forgive - sounds good. Forget - I'm not sure I could. They say time heals everything, but I'm still waiting. I'm through with doubt. There is nothing left to figure out. I paid a price and I'll keep paying. I'm not ready to make nice, I'm not ready to back down. I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time to go 'round and 'round and 'round."

Over the past several years, I have been hurt in ways that have left unhealing scars inside of me. I have been stung by betrayal. I have been abandoned by people I thought I could count on and trust for life. Yet I am still here. Life still moves forward...so why is it that I find it so hard to move with it at times?

I think that is my worst quality as a person. I cannot easily forgive a wrong. I hold in that pain & anger and let it fester inside me in those dark places that we in polite society do not discuss. I wish I could rid myself of these feelings and stop the never-ending film of wrongs that flip through my mind as I lay sleepless in my bed at night. (It reminds me of another song's verse from Maryiln Manson's 'Speed of Pain': "I wish I could sleep, but I can't lay on my back because there's a knife for everyday that I've known you.")

I envy those who are positive and carefree...I will never be that person. I am no Pollyanna.

These dark days bring on these old hurts like a tidal wave. I drown in them and in my own self-pity. If I had but one wish, I think it would be to be able to free myself of these demons. I want more for myself and I have wasted enough of my life in this darkness. Wouldn't it be great if it were enough to realize this and be free? It isn't. Even Superman has his kryptonite.

In time I will share with you, my dear readers, these stories of heartache...but not today. It is time for me to shake these chains off and get ready to face the rest of my day. Now which black shirt shall I wear??? ;o)

Oh...speaking of superheros & darker days: check out the new Spiderman 3 teaser trailer! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoE1JXeGFqE&feature=Views&page=1&t=t&f=b

Out of the closet & into the frying pan...

Pride has finally come and gone...perhaps life will begin to resemble something back to normal for me now. It was a lovely day - the weather was kind to us and the anti-gay demonstrators were at a minimum. Supposedly we had 100,000 people turn up, but it seemed busier last year to me.

Our group had a fantastic turn-out! Although it started out looking fairly dismal, we ended up having 30 people walk in the parade with us. It is very hard to describe the feeling which fills you at the sight and sounds of thousands of strangers applauding your efforts. It is such a love-fest. You want to pull that feeling in and wrap it around you like the loving arms of a mother. It is easily the best part of my year - advocacy wise that is.

We had at least 40 people sign up for our email list...far more than last year. Also, I was able to help a few people from out of the city locate LGBTA groups near their smaller towns. I even spoke at length to a women who was trying to help a friend of hers who wants to transition from a man to a woman. It is so amazing to think of how many lives we can reach - just by showing up! I'll be throwing in a few random photos from Pride very soon.

This year's Pride brought about an interesting email from a friend of mine...in it she came out to me! Although I've only known her as a straight ally, she wanted me to know that she now identified as a lesbian. I must admit that for at least a year now I assumed that she was gay, but I never asked. I'm happy for her - it must have been a very exciting day for her to march in Pride (not for the first time mind you, but as a lesbian for the first time). I wish her all the best because she deserves it - she has a heart of gold.

Her email inspired me to look at life through a different lense for a bit. Another friend of mine, whom I've only ever known as a lesbian, told me this past year that she once identified as a straight ally first too. In fact, I have heard that this is not uncommon...almost like coming out to support the LGBT community first as an ally is a baby step toward coming out fully and realizing the "truth" about your real sexual orienation.

So where does that leave me?

(In my opinion only) I think that for any heterosexual person to be active as an ally to the LGBT community, that person must be more than open-minded. I feel like one must also be sexually liberated in order to accept all versions of love. Personally, I feel like I am "intellectually bi-sexual," yet my body's sexual orienation gravitates toward heterosexuality. I mean, I have only ever slept with men, but in my head I can see why woman are attractive and sexually stimulating. In fact, I could name several famous women I wouldn't kick out of my bed if they were interested. (Drew Barrymore, Kate Winslet, Thora Birch and Shirley Manson to name a few...oh you know you wanted to know! LOL) Hell, over the last three years as an active ally I have even met a few 'real life women' I've admired from afar. (Like I'm going to name names...you wish!)

So what does that mean?

Does admitting this mean I am in the closet? Does the occasional wish that I were interesting/beautiful enough to be admired back by these women mean I shouldn't claim to be heterosexual despite my male-only sexual past? Or does it mean nothing - just that we are all sexual beings and it is acceptable/normal to want to be desired by everyone we feel desire for (despite their gender)?

I can only speak for myself by saying that I am just not interested enough to do more than admire from afar. I know that I love my husband and I enjoy our sexual partnership. If ever I were to explore these flights of fantasy, it would only be out of sheer curiosity - not out of a longing to become more to that person. Doing such a thing would not be fair to the other person involved and I would never want to use someone like that. But what of these other ladies? They obviously came to a very different conclusion.

I asked a few friends at Pride what they think of this pnenomenum of straight allies coming out later in life as gay - all they offered me were tongue-in-cheek responses regarding the "recruiting" efforts of the gay community. Ha ha...but I don't buy that as an actual answer. Certainly emersing yourself into the (forgive the phrase) "gay culture" makes one feel more comfortable contemplating that relationship senario - because same-sex attraction is the norm in this community. So maybe that is the real reasoning behind these "coming out" tales. As heterosexuals, perhaps they were made to feel ashamed of these feelings - but once these allies were able to exist in a community where same-sex attraction was accepted, then they could finally look honestly at their desires without fear. So while I choose to not approach the objects of my admiration, these other ladies chose a different path.

I certainly do not have the answers to my questions. I am just wondering what others think? I cannot believe that all allies are in the closet...but what is it that makes me so comfortable, and in some cases happier, to be among the wonderful people of the LGBT community? My good friend Susie said it best once when while at a local gay bar she commented, "What is it about this place that just makes me feel better?" What is it?! Both Susie and I freely admit that our "inner self" (or perhaps a better term would be alter-ego) tends to be more masculine than feminine. Yet we are both attracted to men. Susie likes to say her alter-ego is a gay man...LOL Maybe there is some truth to that...or not. What I do know is that I count myself as a part of the LGBT community - to the point that I get offended now to be excluded. The vague term queer probably fits best as an indentifier for me - despite my heterosexual orienation.

Well, I didn't mean to get all "deep" on you all this evening. I guess I just needed to get all of these thoughts out of my head and down on 'paper'. If you'd like to share any of your thoughts about this topic, I'd love to hear your theories.

Lastly, speaking of alter-egos: Happy Pride Marty & Benjamin! (Another long story for a different day...)

What have you done lately to be proud?

I want to apologize to my faithful readers...I haven't been able to post new messages as frequently as I'd like due to a bit of June madness which is also known as Pride.

As the founder of a LGBT advocate group, my life is completely thrown out of wack every June. Each weekend I have events to plan/run/attend and as the calendar draws near June 24th, those events begin to crowd my weekdays too. Still, I am not here to complain about such things, because I really enjoy this time of year even if it does become a vortex which sucks me into a black (er, rainbow) hole for a few weeks. :o)

Last night my family went to a Pride sign-making party at our good friends, Nick & Rolando's house. N&R are fantastic people. They are geniunely the nicest guys I know and have (in my opinion) found the secret of life because they are always happy and easy-going. It amazes me. They were married in Windsor, ON in April of 2004. They are one of the reasons I'm fighting this fight. They should be able to marry here in the states and receive the same benefits as my husband and I!

Nick runs his own group - Ohio Freedom to Marry Coalition (visit their website at http://www.oftmc.org/). He is about to merge that into a new national group - Marriage Equality of Central Ohio. He is really excited about it, and I am happy for him. He has great energy and unfortunate his old group has run out of gas. Being part of a new group run and funded nationally will be a huge difference for him.

We had so much fun at their house. Brandon ran himself into a sweaty, silly, happy mess - he spent the whole evening outdoors with N&R's black lab, Java. You should have seen how quickly those two bonded. They played fetch and when Brandon would lay on the ground, Java would drop the mangled football onto his chest and lick him all over his face! It just about melted my heart. That boy needs his own dog!! Golden Doodle where are you?!

Meaghan had just as much fun acting her diva-self...except our fabulous gay friends wouldn't let her be bitchy. They proceeded to call her "Paris 'tude" and poked fun at her "Ms. It" attitude all night. :o) She got to make cookies with Rolando and he lavished her with swag! He works for the Limited and had all kinds of little Bath & Bodyworks items. She loved every minute. (And another 'hag' is born! LOL)

Nick made the best sign of the evening - "Gay Marriage Is Coming - Get Fabulous!" LMAO!

So...please put up with my absence for a few more days. I'm hoping to post some photos from Pride soon.

Happy Pride Everyone!

Damn...but she's still a beauty!

The Edmonton Oilers are NOT Stanley Cup Champions...AGAIN!

I just cannot stand it. Tonight's game had me screaming at the televison, covering my eyes and praying to the hockey gods - however, it was just not going to happen for the poor Oilers. Just moments ago the Carolina Hurricanes won The Cup. I have to admit that both teams played their hearts out, and both deserved to win in my opinion, but why couldn't it be the Oilers? Sigh!

Now, I feel duty-bound to mention that I am first and foremost a New Jersey Devils fan. Hell ya! (Er, no pun intended.) Go Devils!! Unfortunately, even though they entered this year's playoffs hot off a great winning streak, they lost in the second round in very miserable fashion to the Hurricanes. They might have been sent packing early this year...but we (as in "The Devils") still have the best damned goalie in the NHL (and the reason I've been a Devils fan since 1994) Martin Brodeur...and yes ladies, he is every bit as yummy in person as he is here in this picture.

But out in the Western Conference, I have been an Edmonton fan for many years. Each season they seem to come close, but the finals remained just out of their reach. I was very sad when their goaltender, Tommy Salo, left the team...but I still rooted them on. I really thought that this was going to be their year. Did you know that they are the only 8th seed team to even make it to the finals? I still say that if their super-amazing goalie Dwayne Roloson had not been injured in Game 1 of the finals, that this year's champions would have been the Oilers and Roloson would have been the MVP.

Speaking of MVP - Hurricane's goalie, Cam Ward, totally deserved to be awarded MVP! He was outstanding...and consider this - he was a rookie! (I believe the last rookie to do this was also a goalie - Ron Hextall and he was on the loosing team!) I was impressed by Ward's oustanding play. He totally got screwed though! Most MVPs get a free car or truck when they win MVP... but ESPN stopped airing the NHL games this season, and I guess that means no big cross-promotions by Dodge.

Regardless of who won...I just want you to look at The Stanley Cup! She is beautiful. I have been fortunate in my life to kiss The Cup (and I have the photo to prove it!). No matter how many seasons go by, I always get all misty-eyed watching the pure joy explode over the player's faces who win it. It never gets old. Like Tinker Bell dashing them with fairy dust, you can see all those beared, brusied men returning to their childhood self - when they spent hours in the cold pretending to lift The Cup in their backyard ice rinks.

Say what you will about last season's lockout and professional sports - but hockey is still the best sport out there. The players are the real deal, and they are (for the most part) well underpaid in regards to other professional athletes, especially when you think about how many games they play in a season. I have only met a handful of unfriendly players in the decades I've followed the game...most are just down to earth guys from very small towns. They are great to fans and geniunely appreciate just playing the game. I spent a big portion of my life involved in this sport, and I still love it.

Until the puck drops again in a few months -- Congrats Carolina! You lucky bastards. ;o)

Doodle-rific!!

I'm in love!! While waiting for my hubby to pick us up from the dollar movie ("Just My Luck" - which you'll count yourself lucky to miss this one...trust me!), the kids and I stopped in at Petland. Normally I'll have some good-natured fun with the kids, play with the pups in the visitor's stalls and then off I go without a second thought. First of all, I don't like the living conditions of the pets in these stores and I've heard enough horror stories about puppy mills that I don't want to encourage that either. Plus, as cute and adorable as these pets are, who would pay $1,000 for a family dog?! Especially when the pounds are full of animals in need of a good home...but I digress. Getting back to my point -- being in love:

There he was - the doggie in the 2nd lower window. He looked up at me from behind these fluffy pieces of fur, with the saddest eyes I've ever seen on a dog. I crouched down to his level and smiled at him, but he just looked at me cautiously. Finally he approached the window and I knew I had to get him out of that crate. I spent the next 30 minutes falling head-over-heels for the lovable pooch - who is a Goldendoodle (a mix of a Poodle and Golden Retriever). Apparently poodles don't shed (read: allergy friendly) and therefore are great to mix breeds with. I had no idea that there was such a thing and just snickered over the name...doodle! :o) I mean, when I last had a dog (my childhood dog, Mindy, who we owned for 17 years - I still miss her) a "mixed breed" was a mutt...now I guess I'm supposed to call this Doodle Dog a "designer breed." Anyhow, the pup looked very much like Sandy from the 80's version of the movie "Annie." (I admit it...I sang the 'Sandy' song to him and even referred to him by the name Sandy! Yes, I need professional help. LOL)

I just can't get over this dog. It was like we had some cosmic connection. I don't normally like long haired dogs, but this one won me over instantly. I have repeatedly sworn that when we get a dog, that it must be a small/medium sized one (think Beagle) and this pup is already this size at only 10 weeks of age. What can I say?! The Doodle won my heart with the flick of his tail. He was playful, yet calm. No barking or hyperness - just a sweet temperment and he seemed to easily understand simple commands. Plus he was a complete snuggle bunny. He seemed totally at home curled up in my lap. He was like my new little baby.

Unfortunately, Sandy cost $1288.99! I can't even imagine paying that...even for Sandy, the amazing Doodle dog. It tore up my heart to leave him behind, but there was just no way I could pay that much. I hope he finds a good home...he is such a sweetie. So now I am looking for my very own doodle online to adopt. There seems to be some available out there - I just have to keep looking for one nearby. (*By the way, the photos I'm posting here are not of my Sandy, but of another Doodle who looks very similar...look at that face! Awwwww!)

Xanax Nation...

OK, I admit it! I've been avoiding writing entries in this blog that would reveal anything of much substance about myself. Why? Maybe I didn't want to scare any of you with the truth. Or maybe I just didn't want to bore you to tears. Regardless, today the wall comes down...for just a bit.

I bet most of my friends who might be reading this assumed that the "blue girl" in the title of this blog referred to my political affiliations. While I am a life-long Democrat, I was actually referring to the fact that I have been diagnosed with depression (and just to keep it fun, add a side of anxiety disorder too). I pretty much have the anxiety part under control these days, but the depression just seems to stick around.

Honestly, I was in total shock to realize at my last doctor's visit that I had been diagnosed all the way back in April of 2004! Truthfully though I had been a wreck for over a year before they could convince me to get on some anti-depressants (but that is a story for another time). So for three years this thing has eaten up my life and I am tired of it. I am tired of being dependent on pills to make me feel - well, I don't know what the word is because I haven't felt normal in a long time. I'm really freaked out thinking what these pills are doing to my brain. If I don't take one, my body freaks out and I get a weird heavy sensation in the back of my head at the base of my neck. I'll probably get a brain tumor. Joy.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up at all is that at the worst this ever was it was when I was acting as a full-time stay at home (SAH) parent for the first time since my daughter was an infant. I had always worked full-time. When I was laid off however we decided it would save us money to not have the kids in summer daycare - which is incredibly expensive. I expected it to be a good thing, instead it was the probably the worst 3 months of my life. I simply could not handle the constant bickering and demanding nature of my two little angels. I felt like I was going to die...like I was in this constant prison with no life outside of being a mother and house keeper. My hat goes off to those who can do it all the time - and those parents who actually like to stay home have my complete awe. I'm not that person. I don't think it makes me a bad mother to admit that. I just need the ability to live in an adult world now and then.

Numerous life situations have created a situation where I've been a SAH mom for over a year now and while it has been hard, I cope. The trouble is that beginning this past Monday the kids are now home with me once more for summer break. As the days ticked down on the calendar, I could feel this vise in my chest getting tighter and heavier. I was dreading the last day of classes, but of course it came and went. This summer will be a particularly hard one because I have no way to take them anywhere. We only have one car & my hubby takes it to work with him. He works in New Albany and that is a good 30 minute drive one-way from where we live. Driving him to work at 5:30 AM every day would be terrible! Not only would it costs us quite a bit with gas prices so high, but adding all those miles on the car would end up costing us too. We don't live anywhere close to a bus lines either - I think the closest would be about 3-4 miles away. Granted that isn't too bad, but try it with a whiney 9 & 6 year old in tow. I honestly have no idea what we will do. We don't have the money now to buy a new car, and our credit pretty much stinks.

That vise is starting to feel like an anchor. Today I feel it -- anxiety seeping into my bones. My head hurts, my body aches and I feel like I want to jump out of my skin. This is only day 3!!!

I handle a thousand things a day...between being a mom, a wife and a coordinator for my ally group. Lots of people count on me and I never fail -- so why can't I do this? Why can my kids shred me of my composure and confidience with a sneer or snotty remark? I just don't understand. I was not like this 5 years ago.

Send me some good vibes...today, I'm feeling rather hopeless.

Men...whatever!

I want to begin this entry by saying no...I'm not some nazi feminist - I actually like men. I also want to say that I'm lucky to be married (for nearly 10 years!) to a wonderful, loving creature of the opposite sex, but since this is my blog I reserve the right to vent, and or otherwise ramble on, about the often frustrating nature of men (my husband in particular).

I bring this topic up because last night my hubby went 'caveman' on me. No, he didn't grunt and toss me over his shoulder, dragging me into his cave to have his way with me - because I would sort of like that. Instead, here is what occurred: We were sitting on the couch watching half the Reds game and half the Stanley Cup match when he disappeared into the kitchen. He came back in holding a fork. On the fork was a huge leftover rib from dinner. He then sat down on my couch and proceeded to gnaw into it, smacking his bbq stained lips. No plate, no napkin. Just a man and his hunk of beef. I guess I should be thankful he grabbed a fork. Um, hello?! What is wrong with men? Why do they think this sort of thing is acceptable? I was totally grossed out.

Another thought on men - why can't men with children (aka "fathers") act like grown-up parents without their wive's reminding them? We were in Target this past weekend and I asked him to go pick up the cat litter while I grabbed some detergent. I wandered into the aisle which holds the cat supplies just in time to see my 6 yr. old dropping the bag of litter not once but twice...I held my breath that the bag would not rip open and litter would spill everywhich way. He was trying to get the bag into the shopping cart - the same cart that my 9 yr. old daughter had popped up on the back two wheels like she was stunt shopping for Fear Factor or something. I no sooner hissed out - "I told you two to stay with your father," when as if by magic he peered around the corner of the aisle. He had been there all that time, letting the kids run loose like maniacs. Grrr...

Can I vent just a bit more - please?!

• Why can't men see anything? Last night our son had a sore leg (growing pains) and my hubby is standing in the bathroom looking into the medicine cabinet. "Don't we have any kid's asprin?" He asks. Oh - you mean that bright red box marked Jr. Tyllenol...right there in front of you? Argh!!!

• Then when I went upstairs to kiss the boy goodnight, my dear hubby had let Brandon dump his dirty clothes all over my bedroom floor. He literally walked over them on the way past the dirty clothes hamper. Why?!?!

• Why can't men just watch one thing on television? They must think surfing the stations is a test to their manhood. Seriously! My hubby cannot stand to sit through even one commercial. He zips around the channels, often returning late back to the show we were watching (very annoying!). He cannot even go to bed without first running through all 140 channels first before shutting the tube off for the night. It's true - ask him! The worst offense? My hubby must have ownership of the remote. It sits mainly in his hand (or near by) the whole time the TV is on...which I don't care about because he doesn't force us to watch anything we don't want to watch (very often). But, what he does do that gets my panties into a bunch is fall asleep holding the remote...and almost always it is left on some terrible channel like C-SPAN. I hate...hate...hate that!

Ok...enough bashing of our male counterparts. I am certain women are just as annoying, but I'm not writing about that right now, am I? :o)

Worth a look...

Attention Buffy fans: there's a new show on BBC America that may actually be worthy of Sunnydale fanship. The new series, Hex , premiered last Thursday and I sat down and hoped for the best. It was actually pretty good - in a sneaky addicitive way. It is a cross between Buffy/Charmed/The Craft & Harry Potter. The main character is a witch, her best gal-pal is a ghost and her nemisis is the leader of a group of 200 fallen angels.

Although it was billed in the TV Guide Summer TV issue as a "teen show", I have to disagree. This ain't your mama's Buffy! The blatant sexual references (for example: within the first half hour of the two hour premeire there was a discussion concerning waxing and "landing strips," and a lengthy shot of bare behinds in the boy's showers) and heavy alcohol cunsumption made me think that TV Guide must have watched a different version of the show than what aired. Also, much is made of one of the main character's sexual orientation...in this case being lesbian (yes, there was an obligatory "maybe you'd prefer fish" comment). In fact, that is the one thing that I'd say brings this otherwise interesting drama down - too much sex talk. It is always right in your face, as if they dare you to not call them edgy. Yawn! Still the rest is pretty good, with some very cool spooky moments and decent FX.

Here's a synopsis taken from the show's website:

Set in a remote British boarding school, Hex is the story of Cassandra "Cassie" Hughes (Christina Cole), a shy social outcast who discovers she has unique powers that provide a terrifying link to the past. Longing to be popular, but only truly loved by her lesbian roommate Thelma (Jemima Rooper, Kinky Boots), Cassie goes to great lengths to be accepted by the "in crowd" at her cliquish English boarding school, Medenham Hall. Thelma, who couldn't care less about being ostracized, is appalled at Cassie's attempts to fit in with the superficial classmates who treat them so badly.

While stopping for a cigarette in one of the old buildings on campus, Cassie's future is forever altered when she unearths hidden ancient artifacts - a discovery that leaves her cursed with supernatural powers that have their roots deep in Medenham Hall's history. As she begins to recognize the extent of her new abilities, Cassie is bewildered and terrified by the visions that haunt her. She soon discovers that there are certain advantages to being a student endowed with mystical powers, when she learns how to manipulate the people and situations around her.

However, Cassie realizes that her new gift comes with a price. Her tragic fate is sealed with the appearance of Azazeal (Michael Fassbender, Band of Brothers), the leader of a group of fallen angels who were banished from heaven for tasting the pleasures of mortal women. Azazeal kidnaps Thelma in a bid to get to the one human sacrifice he's really concerned with, Cassie. But when Cassie confronts him and demands to see her friend, it's Thelma who pays the ultimate price.

I think you'd like it...check it out Thursdays at 10PM on BBC America.

A good reason to check my mail...

My husband's monthly stash of magazines started arriving this weekend...including Details. I took one look at the cover and squealed in girlish delight!

Two words: Josh Holloway
One more word: Drool!

Holy crap is this man gorgeous or what?! For those few of you left out there who doesn't know who he is, Josh plays the yummy, bad-boy Sawyer on the mega-hit television show Lost. If I had to be stranded on a tropical island with this man, I'd count it among the luckiest days of my life.

Meow!

Learn more about Lost:
(http://abc.go.com/primetime/lost/index.html)

Tony! Tony! Tony!

Just two reasons why you should be watching the Tony Awards - right now!

Proud Mama!

Pictured to the left is my very own little slugger - Brandon. Today Brandon's t-ball team, the Phillies, began "coach pitch." For those of you who are either blissfully unaware of the world of children or t-ball, allow me to explain this term: usually the kids hit the ball off a tee (thus "t"ball) but half way through the season they switch and their coach pitches to them to get them used to it for next season when all the little rug rats move on to coach pitch. So what they do is pitch 2 or 3 balls and hopefully the 5-6 year olds connect...well, I'm here to brag that my son hit 3 straight & on the first pitch! He even tagged an opposing player out at third base. That's right a star is born - agents please form a single line to the right. :o)

After last spring's disaster otherwise known as beginners soccer, where my little darling spent more time with his hands down his pants and running in the wrong direction, it is good to see Brandon connecting with a sport. At $70 a season, plus all the gear required to participate, a parent only has a short time to decide if this is the "right" direction for their kid. Obviously soccer wasn't, but I'm thinking of giving this sport another shot.

Although Brandon seems to have an artistic soul - he loves to draw, sing and express himself - he is still a hands-on boy who wants to wrestle and get dirty, so I am feeling duty-bound to bow down to the gender stereotype of boys in sports. Besides look how cute he is in that little uniform! ;o)

For now, I'm just enjoying the crazy antics of The Phillies t-ball team. It really is a joy to watch these 12 little boys playing their hearts out. The smallest achievement - like actually catching the ball thrown to them - sends them to the moon with happiness. If you ever need a pick-me -up, look no further than the pint-sized players at your neighborhood dusty ball diamond.

Wicked cool...

I saw this online & felt compelled to share...I love the The Omen too (the original mind you) but even I am not sure I would tempt fate to this degree:

Baby "Damien" really born on 6/6/06

Now that all the "666" hoopla is over, it is official: Someone actually named her child "Damien" on Tuesday. The baby, weighing in at 6 pounds, 6 ounces was born 6 days after she was induced! The really "cool" Mom said this of her child's birth:

"We're overjoyed about the baby. The Omen is one of our favorite films and that's why I was keeping my legs crossed for a birth on the 6th. It does seem a bit weird but he's a perfect baby - nothing at all like Damien in The Omen."

What, exactly would she expect from a newborn? She has at least a couple of years before the boy befriends a crazy dog and nannies start hanging themselves.

Signs of life at Hollister - of all places...

The hubby and I was at a local mall last night and we stumbled for the first time into the mega-popular clothing store, Hollister. It pretty much looked like a clone of A&F in my opinion, but then I saw it! A beacon of wit and sass in a pile of clearance merchandise:

As seen on a t-shirt at Hollisters:

"Was that an earthquake...or did I just rock your world?"

LMAO! I must own it. ;o)

A word to the wise: If you are shopping at this clothing establishment, take the time to wander its dark interior to the back of the shop. They had a huge area of marked down merchandise that looked pretty much identicial to the high priced "new" merchandise displayed in the front of the store. Seriously - they are the same items but cheaper! Check out www.hollisterco.com

Are you in the right place?

If this offends you...probably not.
On the other hand, if you're laughing...
Welcome to my world!

Welcome to my new blog site, "What a Girl Wants." Perhaps I should be more specific and say that in this space you will find out at the very least what this girl wants.

Thanks for popping in! Feel free to leave a comment as we start this journey together...